Raegan Grace is ONE!!!

ONE year ago today....

6:16pm September 28, 2011 I gave birth to a beautiful 7 lbs 14 oz precious baby girl!

I can't believe it's been a year, 365 days since the day you were placed on my chest and you stole my heart forever! I held you so close I still remember as soon as I saw you I kept saying over and over "oh my God, she is so beautiful, just look at her, she is so beautiful!" Beautiful life breathed inside of me, grew inside of me for a little over 37 weeks and here I am meeting you and holding you in my arms after so much anticipation of your arrival. I was in complete awe over you and I still am one year later!

And beautiful you still are my sweet blessing! Watching you over the last 12 months grow and learn so many new things has been so beautiful! Life is beautiful. You are beautiful!

Today, mommy took work off and we spent the day together. We didn't do a lot but enough to fill mommy with pride and appreciation for you my sweet baby girl! You let mommy sleep in and then we ate and played together. We read books, you sat on my lap, you let mommy rock you. You laid your head on my neck and snuggled close to me, we did do a little shopping for your party. And we went this afternoon to get your ONE year pictures taken! Then we came home and daddy and I sang Happy birthday to you and you dug into your giant cupcake mommy and daddy made you! You were so funny, talking to the cupcake and when it was all over you sat so still in the bath tub while mommy scrubbed all the pink strawberry icing off of just about every inch of your body (literally head to toe).

I tried to Rock you tonight but you weren't having it. You were quite ready for your crib and I held onto you as long as you would let me before placing you in your crib.

I remember the days when you would only let me rock you to sleep. When you felt most comfortable in my arms. When you needed me to fall asleep. When the glider was our bed and my arms were your crib. My oh my where does the time go???

And here you are now, walking around the place, climbing everything, talking, being silly, falling asleep on your own, and just having the time of your life being a baby and getting all the love in the world! I just can't believe how much you have changed in such a short time!

My newborn is now beginning the toddler stage??? How crazy is that???

I can't wait to see what God has in store for you in the years to come! You are so wonderful and I just know God is going to use you in so many ways!!!

Mommy and daddy love you sooo very much Raegan Grace! You complete us and we adore you!!!

I hope one day when you look back and read this you will know just how much your mommy loves you and truly cherishes every moment! All I can say is if Facebook is still around I don't think you will ever catch up reading about your life! :) haha!

Just know when you have you own baby one day! Take in and cherish every moment. It all goes by in a blink of an eye!!! It really does!!!

Happy FIRST birthday Raegan Grace Smallwood I truly do love you to the moon and back forever and always! You will always be my sweet blessing and my most perfect gift from God!!!

Love mommy!

Snuggles!

Dear Raegan,

It's 11:30 at night and mommy is sitting here rocking you in the glider. I had just finished school work and was about to attempt sleep when I heard you fussing in your crib.

So mommy came to the rescue and now you are safely in my arms (well my lap now that you found your comfy spot). Ohhh seeing your sweet little face with your arms and legs wrapped around me makes mommy want nothing more than to stay up late taking you in. Snuggling with you! Enjoying everything about this perfect moment with you. Makes me want to call into work tomorrow and say nope can't come mommy needs Raegan time! Haha!

I may just have to sneak you in the bed with me just to get my fix.

Ohhhh Raegan!!! Tonight it's hard to lay you back down. I think I will sit here a little longer "holding" you. Now you have rolled to your back and I can perfectly see your sweet little face with your hand behind your head looking so perfect and more and more like a big girl!

I still can't believe you are only 23 days away from being ONE year old!!!

Ohhh baby girl! I couldn't ask for a baby more perfect than you! I prayed for you and God blessed me with you! You are my perfect gift from above!

I love you to the moon and back forever and always!

Now back to our snuggles!

Love,
Mommy!

It's been a while

Well Raegan is in bed... Mommy has two seconds to herself.... My to do list is overflowing BUT of course I have no desire to do it... I want some me time and my me time tonight wants to blog so I will put off the dishes, the housework, the school work, the many to do lists laying around my house to take care of my wants.

Life has been hectic. Crazy busy. No time to hardly even take a second to enjoy it.

Being back at work makes my head spin. Between trying to balance school work, housework, all the while taking care of a very active and mobile 11 month old is whew crazy!!!

But amongst all of it, I love it! In a way I feel more accomplished. I don't have time to put off stuff so more stuff is getting done even if I don't feel like it. Yes some things are getting put on the back burner but hey that's called life. We prioritize!

I'm enjoying my every moment with Raegan Grace. I can't wait to pick her up when I get off work and see the big ole smile light up her face! And then the way she snuggles against my neck to let me know she missed me too! Or the way if I sit there talking too long holding RG to Jordan she will lean her head in front of my face and smile as big as she can as if to say I'm here too mommy let's hit the road mommy! It's really too cute!!! Our times in the evenings go by too fast! By the time she is in bed I'm completely exhausted but I just love her! She's my whole world and I can't imagine life without her! Even with all her major messes she makes for me to clean she brings joy to my life as she explores every nook and cranny in this house... And I mean all of them! Tonight she discovered she could lift the toilet seat on her own?!!! Where oh where do they learn to be such inquirers??? I love it!! My little explorer seems to be on a new mission every night and I just love watching how much joy she gets out of the simple things in life!

Work is going well too! I love my team! We work well together and the planning is really coming together! Its definitely a lot of work with all the new stuff we are learning but we are truly doing the best we can! And did I mention I love my class???!!! Blessings for sure! They are too sweet!!! They make me smile! Today they told me "NOO I don't want to go home I want to keep learning!!!" three more chimed in and said the same thing! I mean can we say heart stop beating??? Jaw dropped huge smile slapped across my face??? I'm loving it!

Home is going well! Drew is wonderful! Sweet husband! He has actually been helping around the house more which is a huge burden off my chest. Also, tomorrow he starts a bible study at church. I'm quite proud of him for taking this next step! God is good!

We are blessed... Busy but truly blessed. Some days are harder than others but when I take a step back and look at it all... It's all worth it! Happy family, happy students= happy me! God is using me to do His work and I plan to continue to glorify Him in all that I do!

Be blessed! I Hope you all take a second to thank God for the craziness of your days! Sometimes it may feel like a blessing in disguise but breath it will all be worth it! Be blessed and thanks for reading!

3:30 wake up call

Ohhh Raegan Grace!

It's now 4:45 and we are sitting here rocking. Mommy has to wake up in one hour to get ready for work and you are awake..

Mommy was so desperate for sleep I even tried letting you cry It out! GASPPPP!!! I know! So not me, but we all reach a breaking point. And I must say although I tried to win, you my dear prevailed and said watch this and continue to cry for over 45 mins while mommy listened to you get worse and worse before I couldn't take it any more and my thoughts were well it's been 45 mins and she's still going strong I'm NEVER getting any sleep! I could have already gone in calmed you down and been back to sleep myself and now here it is 45 mins later and the calming process hadn't even started yet. Soo needles to say here mommy is practicing the wait it out method now. You are in my arms still whimpering some but slowly falling back asleep. It must be those stupid teeth! Mommy is ready for this stage to be over! It sucks!!! Seriously! I do believe in part its partly attachment. But dang child you are so strong willed! 10 months old and kicking mommy's butt! Ha!

I know this too shall pass (I'm telling myself that). It's been a month or so more of this. At least tonight you got about 7 hours of sleep before waking up instead of your lately normal 2-3. So that's improvement right???

Oh sweet girl! It's now 5 am. Ohhh dear! I'm debating just staying up, but I doubt that shall be the case! Let's go lay you down and pray for rest! Good night my sweet blessing! I love you to the moon and back forever and always!

Love,
Mommy

.................
DearGod,

I'm asking for sleep. Sleep for my precious baby girl and sleep for me. Routines are changing now with school back in place and well we all need our rest. Help us Lord to get some much needed sleep. Ease Raegan's teething pain. And Lord if some of this is attachment help us both know how to overcome this little glitch in our sleep pattern!

Praying for sleep and rest in the Smallwood household!

In Your name I pray,
AMEN!!!



* and please no one comment about continuing the CIOM I don't want to hear it. I haven't given this hiccup to God, and well now I have. He will take care of us!

Raegan you are TOO cute!

Ohhh my sweet oh sooo sweet blessing!!!

Raegan Grace,

You are something else my child! This weekend we have had the pleasure of having your Granny, Pappy, and Nan here and honey you sure do know how to show off. You are sooo entertaining and had everyone laughing at you! I wish I could have caught more on video because it's just sooo stinkin cute!

You have this face you have been making. You will smile so big with your head tilted back, mouth wide open, cheeks up high, and eyes squinted! I swear it's the cutest sweetest funniest grin EVER!!! Also, Nan has been teaching you to bat those pretty little eye lashes of yours and you are even kinda picking that up! Uncle Skip would grunt and you would start grunting! I mean how funny is that??? You are such a little mimic! Haha! Now if I could just get you to say "momma"!!! Haha!

You are far too cute my sweet girl! I love you more than anything in this world and I would do anything for you! You make me smile and fill my life with so much joy it's overflowing!

Your perfect my sweet blessing! In every way! Don't EVER forget that! I don't know a single person that doesn't think so! You are such a blessing to those who know you!

I sure do hope you always have this happy spirit about you! It just lights up a room!

Well sweet baby girl, mommy should get some rest! I can't believe I only have three days left with you and summer break is over! Went by far TOO fast and I demand a redo or pause button or something! I love you to the moon and back forever and always my sweet blessing!

Love,
Mommy

Love this blog entry

For all my teacher friends! Hopefully the link works if not copy and paste since I'm on my phone!

(I know I posted the link but I need it posted on my blog so I can refer back to later)

http://www.stonewritten.com/?p=4437

I guess summer is practically over

Dear Raegan Grace,

Well my sweet baby girl! Summer has pretty much come to an end. You start tomorrow with Jordan and you will go three days this week and three days next week before we start five days a week. This depresses your poor mommy! Although I am sure you will handle it far better than I will!

Mommy wishes I could stay at home with you. But We also don't want to struggle either. We want to be able to give to others and take care of each other. We are trying to work on paying off a few things around here so that becoming a domestic engineer may be in more plain sight in another year or so. We are just listening to God and whatever He says we are trying to do.

I love you more than anything in this world my sweet blessing! Just because I work doesn't mean I love you any less! It honestly means I cherish the time I do have with you even more. My time with you is precious! It's sacred time for me and you and I enjoy every second! I am very thankful I have a career that allows me to be with you during all holidays and have the summers off with you!

My job gives me an opportunity to show God's love! Growing up I loved school. It was my haven. Being a teacher now I hope my students love school and I hope I can provide a haven for them too. Being a teacher is hard work. I don't do for the money that's for sure. I do it for the outcome. The feeling I get knowing I left a footprint on a child's life. I hope that they will remember me for the love and care I gave them. And I try my best to teach them as much as I can along the way too! My job is hard, but so rewarding at the same time! I see God every day in what I do. And all I can do is pray that others can see God in me and that I can do His work every day!

One day, my sweet girl, you may find yourself balancing a career, a husband, and a family. I don't know what God's plans are for you my sweet baby girl but I do know those plans will be great! I cannot wait to see what paths God will have You take! But whatever you do your mommy here will support you 110%. Whatever you need you will always have my love!

I still can't believe you have to go off to Jordan's tomorrow! I'm hoping you won't cry because I know I will. And if you cry that will make it even harder to leave! Packing all your stuff tonight, laying your clothes out made my stomach tighten up. Made my eyes overflow with tears.

As I was sitting there writing my nightly prayer I heard you crying. I immediately came in to rock you back to sleep. A few extra snuggles from you my dear I certainly don't mind! Especially not tonight! Honestly I needed more snuggles from you! Actually give me time to write to you! Trying to soak you in every minute I can my sweet blessing!

Tomorrow, Raegan Grace know that when I drop you off I will be back to pick you up. I really hope you don't mind sharing me with my students. They need me (not that you don't) in different ways then you do right now (well they will in a few weeks in the meantime mommy is getting ready for them). You are my number one priority my sweet baby girl! Your needs will be met too! You will forever be my biggest and greatest gift from God! God gave you to me to enjoy and I guess as you are sharing me with my students I guess it's only fair for me to share you with the world! You are such a happy baby and I pray that when others see you they see God's blessings in you! I know I do and I cherish every bit of it! Guess its time again for us to share each other. Together we can do this! :)

I love you all the way to the moon and back forever and always!

Love,
Mommy!