Friday, June 22, 2012

Just when I was about to go to sleep

It was after midnight, I was just about to fall asleep after watching the GAMECOCKS beat Arkansas and who do I hear crying??? Ohhh Raegan Grace! Sooo I go in to check on you and by that time I get in there you are no longer crying but definitely wide awake and standing in your crib. As I walk a little closer your eyes are glued to your bow holder. It was the most intense look on your face like oh those are my bows!

As I walk closer to you, you see me and give me the biggest grin. I pick you up and decide to try and rock and nurse you back to sleep. While you are nursing you just stare right up at me with those big brown eyes and by the time I finish nursing I can tell you are still not ready to go to sleep. So I decide to change your diaper.

Normally when I change your diaper it's a whole big ordeal. You toss, you turn, you flip over. I normally have to find whatever is in sight to hand you and distract you so I can work like speed lightening and get a new diaper on you before you roll over. I mean it's a huge deal! But tonight you laid there and you smiled up at me. You talked to me in your little voice. You took both hands and you waved at me while I changed your diaper (which by the way you just learned to do today). It was just the cutest thing! I lowered my head down to yours and I just laid it close to you and took your oh so sweet self in!

After you were freshly changed I take you back to the glider and try to hold you to rock you back to sleep. You ever so gently rolled over so your back was to my stomach and you could see about your room, but still having your head laid against me. You allow me to ever so slightly brush your cheek with my hand over and over while your eyes flashed open and closed and you debated if you were ready for bed or not! I just sat there brushing your cheek thanking God that yes it's 1 am now but this is oh too precious not to soak up every moment. And I vowed to myself right then that as soon as I put you back down in your crib I was going to go write about this moment.

I continued to rock you as your eyes flashed back and forth. You decided you were ready for mommy to hold you the way mommy loves to hold you and you turned yourself around and laid your head on my upper arm and your arm wrapped around my shoulder! Ohhh how you melted mommy's heart right there! You haven't let me rock you to sleep like that in a few weeks now and ohhh how I was missing it!

You finally drifted those beautiful eyes into a slumber of sleep and I just held you! I prayed to God over you and just thanked him for this ohhh so perfect moment to spend with you! I prayed our little nightly prayer over you again and I just sat there starring at your beautiful delicate little features in the shadows of your night light. It was truly perfect!

After sitting there for I don't know how long I decided it was time for you to lay in your crib. You hardly made a sound as I laid you down and kissed you good night!

Raegan Grace, moments like tonight are moments to cherish forever! You are the absolute greatest blessing I could ever ask for! The love I have for you is unconditional and I thank God every day for this oh sooo sweet family of my own! I hope when you are older and you have a daughter of your own that you will always cherish the little moments. Life goes by way too fast not to cherish the little big moments! Always remember how much I love you my oh so sweet blessing! You light up my whole world! I love you to the moon and back forever and always!

Xoxoxo!!!

Love mommy!!!