I don't know about the rest of y'all but this summer flew by me so fast I hardly had time to catch my breath. Heck I can count on one hand how many days I actually had "relaxed days" (yea y'all try relaxing with a 22 month old jumping beside you on the couch). Kinda sad really when you think about having two whole months off when you are a teacher.
But us teachers know we don't get 3 months off like some think we do. We get 2 months off, and of those two months you are spent busy in trainings for new textbook adoptions, or new leadership programs, and team planning days, and a week to set up your classroom, and another week of kindergarten camp...etc. And then we are researching pinterest, or making stuff and crafting away, and planning and designing lessons so that we will have the perfect classroom with the best management systems in place so WE feel organized and ready for the school year. So that we can have a smooth meet the teacher night, a smooth first week of school, and ultimately a smooth school year. So that when our students walk in they are excited about what they see, and when their parents walk in they are confident in you because your room is in order and you are organized. And because we feel ready as a teacher, we are bubbly, we are excited, we can't wait to dig in with all our new ideas and lessons! It weighs on us heavy as we try to do everything in advance as we prepare for a new school year. Because what we did last year, well that's not going to work, all that research, reflection, and new innovative ideas we got this summer, well ALL that is going to work THIS YEAR! And we all know next year we will tweak this and that and start the whole process all over again. WHY? because we don't do the same things every year. We learn and we grow as professionals, we gain new ideas from one another, each year we gain more experience, we want what is best for our group of kids so we change and adapt our lessons, our environment, our philosophy our thinking. And all that GREAT stuff takes time. I started all my new ideas at the beginning of July, I don't think I have gone to bed early not once since July because I have been busy working on SOMETHING for my classroom rather it was a new sign that will surely fit perfect on that one shelf and surely it will inspire SOME ONE, or it was making a list in my EC planner so that I don't forget to set out the camera to take a first day of kindergarten picture with my new students next week. It's a million little things with a million lists running around floating here on my cell phone, my planners, my desk at school, my purse, etc. They are every where in hopes I don't forget that one little thing that may not matter to some, but matter huge to someone else. My life as teacher is constant. It WAS summer, but now it's over and I can seriously say this summer I did some serious reflection on my life as a teacher. And I am so thankful for that time to better myself as a professional.
This summer wasn't just about professional growth, for I know that transferring to a different school did help ignite some new passion for teaching, but it's also about personal growth. My sweet little Raegan Grace kept me busy. Last summer she was only 9 months old, she crawled most of the summer (learned to walk towards the end of the summer which I will be forever grateful I got to witness) and was easy to please. This summer, well this summer, my bouncing energetic toddler needed to be entertained. We went to the zoo, edventure, play dates, lunch dates, etc. Our mornings were extremely busy entertaining my loving toddler who had no intention of sitting and relaxing on the couch with momma she wanted to be running, she wanted me to chase her, read books to her, color with her, just sit on her little couch with her. She wanted apple juice one minute and milk the next AND she wanted to help me pour it and we all know a 22 month old pouring something leads to spilling something. In the afternoon she napped, and well sometimes I did too, but the last month or so I didn't because well that's prime time for this teacher to get stuff done because my head was filled with new ideas and a new classroom theme. But I am growing as a mommy. I am learning with Raegan as she learns. I attempted potty training this summer, and that was a BIG whomping fail. But you know, I tried. And really those 3 days of attempting to train her were the ONLY THREE days in a row we were home ALL Summer. So please don't tell me teachers relax all summer, because my only 3 days "OFF" were spent attempting to potty train a toddler, and well if anyone needs to see those pictures please check my Facebook page for July 2-4 to find out how that really went. Failure is not something I like to do, but it happens. And you know I don't let it get me down. I keep trying, because that is what momma's do. We keep going, because we have to, because we must show our little ones that we must keep going. And success well it will come.
Raegan is one beautiful little girl. And she keeps me busy and on my toes for sure. When she smiles her whole face lights up with those big brown eyes that surely bring a smile to your face if you ever saw it. She is passionate about everything, curious about the world we live in, and sooo sooo sooo very much fun to watch and enjoy as she learns and explores every single little thing like attempting to escape her crib. And those seldom random hugs she gives well those are worth every bit of energy it took for me to clean up the water she dumped out of the tub with her hair washing cup. This child, my child, my oh sweet child fills my heart with more love than I could EVER imagine. This sweet child of mine that keeps me on my toes, well she gives me a good taste of just how much my God loves me and well that my friends, makes my whole life worth living. I know what love is because I have Raegan Grace.
This summer has been busy. Right now Drew is still operating his GF store and helping out with the new store as it is being built as well. So he has also been very busy this summer too. It's been crazy transitions going on in The Smallwood house this summer for sure. I was beginning to think he was too busy to get my stuff in my new classroom, but he did it, and whew, I am so thankful my stuff is there and unpacked! One less thing I have to worry about!
But anyway, tonight, I have been a complete emotional wreck. And although Raegan has already gone to her new sitter, Sara, 4 times now, it's still soooo very heartbreaking to know that she will continue to go to Sara (and not momma) for the next 7 weeks. and then will be heartbreaking again when she transitions to preschool (and not momma) when she turns two at the end of September. SO heartbreaking. HeartBreaking because I know she will love Sara and get use to her and I will be removing her from that environment and I am already praying that transition won't be too hard on us. And that's one heartbreak. And then there's the heartbreak of leaving her all together. Although she has spent a few days here and there this summer with different people for my training's etc, it's just different when you HAVE To drop your child off with someone because you HAVE to go work. Tonight is hard for me. Hopefully tomorrow morning won't be so bad on me. But it's hard knowing as her mother I have to send her to SOMEONE else to take care of her while I GO to work and take care of and teach SOMEONE else's kids. The heartbreak of that reality sometimes to me is just too overwhelming. I literally sat here and cried buckets of tears holding Raegan wanting to keep her to myself and not share her with the world. It's tough. So tough being a working mom...and being a teacher working mom to me, well I can't vouch for all working moms, but teacher moms, we ROCK IT because we want is best for ALL kids but most importantly our own!
I am also emotional wreck about learning to balance it all. Going to a new school this year and back to a grade I haven't taught in a few years I will be learning every step of the way. I know I will have a lot to do as I hope to be a good addition to my team and help all my little students be successful in all that they do. I also want to make sure that I am being balance at home. I don't want to miss anytime with Raegan and I want to be the best momma I can be to her. And I already know my house will take the back burner, it's okay no guest allowed, y'all just invite me to your house and we will all be okay... deal? No judgements on this dishes or the laundry that I seem to struggle with being HOME all summer! ha! And my husband, well he is going to be so busy at the new store it will take us a little time to find balance in all that, but that's okay, because God will bring us through this. We can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us. I love my husband and so proud of his new adventures too. Together we will make it happen!
So as I lay down tonight (at some point if my mind stops racing) I probably won't sleep much because I don't sleep: This mom is constantly working on something rather for school or attempting to clean my house. But I am going to sleep kind of bittersweet I guess. So very sad to end my summer days with Raegan Grace, but also excited about changing the world one child at a time. I am so very excited about this new journey at a new school. I have only worked at WE and well change is sometimes nerve wrecking and scary. But I am anxious and excited about this new school year. But everyone at my new school has been so helpful, caring, and welcoming. And well that, that is all I need. Because where I work, they become family to me, we are all in this together. So if you see me tomorrow give me a hug, or I might just hug you, I promise I don't bite. Break that bearer because I am ready to expand my family! And if you ever need prayer, come to me! Together we will make a difference.
Let us pray...
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for this day that You have given us. We lift up all of those working mommas out there who find a hard time balancing it all. Give us strength Lord as we aim to be that beautiful Proverbs 31 mother and wife Lord. May we bring all the glory and honor to You. May others see You in each and every one of us.
God, we pray for teachers. We pray for inspiration and excitement as the new year starts Lord. God, help us to manage it all. Help us to get some sleep, to take some me time. Help us get every little thing done that we need to get done Lord. Help us be successful as we prepare our classrooms, help us be inspired and renewed as we sit though meetings. Help us be productive. Help us be good teammates. Help us be proactive. Help us to build relationships with students, parents, coworkers, and administration. Help us be supportive of one another and helpful. God, help us teach through You. Let others see You in each of us Lord. Help us we ban together in Your name to do Your work Lord. God, we pray for the new chapters You have laid out before us. For these great new beginnings and opportunities. God, help us be successful as we work for You lord. You know what we need Lord, and we thank You for giving that to us. May this school year be the BEST yet in our professional career!
God, we pray for mothers who will be leaving their babies tomorrow to return to the classroom. God, summer has come to an end. We have savored every moment with our sweet children. And we know now that we must share our precious little ones with the world. We pray that the world sees Your love and grace in our children. That our hard work in raising our children to do Your will will be evident. May they be kind, caring, and loving Lord with their teachers and friends. Protect our children in mind and body. Bless our heavy hearts as we trust someone else with our little babies. May they find as much joy in our babies as we do. Comfort us as we transition back into our teacher roles.
God, continue to use this next week to bless our students. May they enjoy their last week of summer vacation. May they come prepared and ready to learn. May they be full of excitement and eagerness to learn. We pray over their home environments that their parents will be supportive and play an active positive role in their education!
God, use us all to bring glory and honor to You. May each day we wake up, may we be renewed in Your word and may we go out and conquer all that You have set before us.
Thank You God for all that You do for us!
In Your name we pray,
AMEN!!!
and to my sweet blessing...
Dear Raegan Grace,
I haven't written you in quite a while. Mommy has been crying nonstop tonight at the thought of having to leave you in the care of someone else. I want you to know that although I work, you are my number one priority and that I do not love you any less. You are my oh so sweet blessing and I would do anything in the world for you! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF! I thank God every day for blessing me with Your love! I am so grateful to be able to have summers off to spend with you! You have been such a blessing to watch as you have grown and learned so many new things this summer. Your vocabulary is really taking off and I just love to hear you talk about everything! I know that God will take care of us both (and daddy) as our little family transitions into new rolls. Together we will trust in Him and His plans for our family!
I love you my sweet blessing! I love you all the way to the moon and back! Forever and always!
Love Momma!
Well later my readers... I need to go pack my teacher bag, and lay out my clothes (aw man, I never did go shopping for myself this summer, dang no new clothes YET, oh well). I still need to go clothes shopping for myself, and go to the eye doctor, and get my hair cut...dang if I come in to school tomorrow looking shabby I'll blame my eye sight? ha! Need to ADD ME to my to do list! Well it's on there but at the bottom, I better fix that soon! Anyway night friends!
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Perfect day!!
Today was the perfect day with Raegan Grace!
When I woke up this morning I has no idea where I wanted to take Raegan! I knew I wanted to take her somewhere fun but couldn't make my mind up.
After much debate I decided to take her to Edventure! I think the only reason why I didn't take her before now is because I was waiting on daddy! When I take her somewhere for the FIRST time I like Daddy to be there to witness and enjoy all her excitement too. And since he only has Sundays off we normally go to church, lunch then it's nap time. And by the time she wakes up and we get anywhere everything is closed so we normally don't go anywhere like that on Sundays because there is no time.
But I decided I was going to take her regardless because I don't want her missing out on things just because daddy has to work.
So off to Edventure we went! She was so excited seeing everything! She saw the Firetruck first and kept saying "truck" over and over. When we walked up to the truck she saw a firefighter statue and got scared. She backed up to me with a scared look. I had to pick her up and show her it was fake and safe. It's funny because every time she saw it she got scared and would run past it real fast. Haha! Silly girl!
We had so much fun enjoying all the little exhibits! Raegan especially enjoyed the bucket of ball area, the veterinarian adopt a pet clinic, butterfly garden, the cow (where she kept saying "moo"), the slide area, and the grocery store area, and even Mr. Eddy where she kept pointing to his hat saying "hat". Which she also did every time she saw someone in Edventure wearing a hat! Funny girl!
After we left Edventure we went to visit daddy at work and he was nice enough to feed us both :) hehe!
We then came home and she took a three hour nap! Yay! I was lucky enough to get some sleep in there too!
When she woke up we watched Minnie and then Daddy came home and we spent the entire evening outside playing and watching Daddy cut the grass! She had ball today!
After eating dinner we snuggled up on the couch for a bit and just relaxed until bath! Boy was she messy! All day fun and outside equals one dirty child. Haha!
While sitting on the couch Raegan saw me put my sunglasses on top of my head and she wanted to copy me! So sweet!
Dear Raegan Grace,
Thank you for being a good girl today! I had so much fun with you!
We had a great day! You were wore out! I know you did because even when I laid you down for the night before I even had a chance to say night night you said "night night, love you, bye bye." Eyed closed, didn't lift your head on anything! Haha! Tired sweet girl!
Raegan, I love creating memories with you! Makes me wish summer was here already!!! 9 more school days my dear! Can't wait to soak up the sun with you and enjoy every moment with you!
Tomorrow daddy promised to take us to the zoo! Should be lots of fun! Can't wait to go its been a few months since we have gone! Yay for family time! Mommy and daddy love you so very much!
Thanks for being my sweet girl! I love you to the moon and back forever and always!!
Love,
Mommy!!!
When I woke up this morning I has no idea where I wanted to take Raegan! I knew I wanted to take her somewhere fun but couldn't make my mind up.
After much debate I decided to take her to Edventure! I think the only reason why I didn't take her before now is because I was waiting on daddy! When I take her somewhere for the FIRST time I like Daddy to be there to witness and enjoy all her excitement too. And since he only has Sundays off we normally go to church, lunch then it's nap time. And by the time she wakes up and we get anywhere everything is closed so we normally don't go anywhere like that on Sundays because there is no time.
But I decided I was going to take her regardless because I don't want her missing out on things just because daddy has to work.
So off to Edventure we went! She was so excited seeing everything! She saw the Firetruck first and kept saying "truck" over and over. When we walked up to the truck she saw a firefighter statue and got scared. She backed up to me with a scared look. I had to pick her up and show her it was fake and safe. It's funny because every time she saw it she got scared and would run past it real fast. Haha! Silly girl!
We had so much fun enjoying all the little exhibits! Raegan especially enjoyed the bucket of ball area, the veterinarian adopt a pet clinic, butterfly garden, the cow (where she kept saying "moo"), the slide area, and the grocery store area, and even Mr. Eddy where she kept pointing to his hat saying "hat". Which she also did every time she saw someone in Edventure wearing a hat! Funny girl!
After we left Edventure we went to visit daddy at work and he was nice enough to feed us both :) hehe!
We then came home and she took a three hour nap! Yay! I was lucky enough to get some sleep in there too!
When she woke up we watched Minnie and then Daddy came home and we spent the entire evening outside playing and watching Daddy cut the grass! She had ball today!
After eating dinner we snuggled up on the couch for a bit and just relaxed until bath! Boy was she messy! All day fun and outside equals one dirty child. Haha!
While sitting on the couch Raegan saw me put my sunglasses on top of my head and she wanted to copy me! So sweet!
Dear Raegan Grace,
Thank you for being a good girl today! I had so much fun with you!
We had a great day! You were wore out! I know you did because even when I laid you down for the night before I even had a chance to say night night you said "night night, love you, bye bye." Eyed closed, didn't lift your head on anything! Haha! Tired sweet girl!
Raegan, I love creating memories with you! Makes me wish summer was here already!!! 9 more school days my dear! Can't wait to soak up the sun with you and enjoy every moment with you!
Tomorrow daddy promised to take us to the zoo! Should be lots of fun! Can't wait to go its been a few months since we have gone! Yay for family time! Mommy and daddy love you so very much!
Thanks for being my sweet girl! I love you to the moon and back forever and always!!
Love,
Mommy!!!
Thursday, May 23, 2013
guilty mommy
I'm been feeling kind of blah lately. I get home from work and I am completely exhausted and have literally no energy. I love playing with Raegan, but lately I was enjoying her wanting to watch tv and cuddle with me on the couch, enjoying her sitting next to me playing with the ipad, or watching videos of herself on my phone. Not that any of those things are bad in small segments, but the last few weeks, that's pretty much what we have been doing because I have been completely burned out.
And then of course I was feeling guilty about it. I wasn't taking her outside to play, we weren't going on wagon rides like we usually do, and I wasn't sitting on the floor playing blocks with her or racing cars down the hallway, etc.
Today, I vowed that I WAS NOT going to be LAZY~!
So, after dinner I sat down on the couch (out of a few weeks of a bad habit), and as soon as I sat down, Raegan comes over saying "video video" wanting to watch a video on my phone.
I was like... No, let's go outside, so she ran ever so excitedly and got her shoes and bow (the girl knows what she needs hehe) and we went outside and just played. We chased each other, we played some t-ball, we tossed the ball back and forth, she went down her slide, watched things roll down the slide (dirt, balls, etc) and climbed the mountain (our table). She even pulled a few weeds. She laughed, she giggled, and she filled my heart with so much joy. More joy than I have felt in a long time.
Moments like this evening warms my heart. It puts a memory in my mind which makes a smile come across my face.
It's easy to get caught up in life. It's easy to become overwhelmed with work. It's easy to want to just sit down when you come home from work because you really are soooo tired and wornout. It's easy to want to be lazy. And there is not a dang thing wrong with that, as long as it doesn't become consistent. We of course have to take care of ourselves. Nothing wrong with that. And I do and don't feel guilty for it all at the same time. But I think that is what makes me a mother. I'm real. I am not perfect I have flaws. Nothing wrong with that....as long as you learn from them along the way.
I always promised myself I would ALWAYS have energy for Raegan, and I really ALWAYS have had the energy for her until the last couple weeks. I would of course love her and play with her, but I pretty much wanted it to happen from the comfort of my couch for a few weeks now. It was not normal, and all week I was feeling really guilty about it. Maybe it's because the school year is coming to end and I really am wore out and so many things need to get done these next few weeks. But sweet little Raegan Grace is not tired. She is not worn out. She has more energy than the energizer bunny. All she wants is to be close to me. She wants to help me, she wants to do what I am doing. She doesn't mind sitting on the couch with me, helping me with laundry, sitting in the bathroom while I take a shower or watching me cook. She doesn't mind doing the things I WANT and NEED to do. But dang lately I have been feeling guilty for not doing the things SHE WANTS and NEEDS mommy to do with her (and she can't even talk yet). But tonight, I changed that and it felt really good. I loved to see my baby girl smile (not that she wasn't with some of our easier laid back fun) but I love to hear her laughter. I love to see the amazement on her face. I love spending so much time with her. It was perfect. Call me guilty working mom, but dang if I don't love this sweet child to death.
Dear Raegan Grace,
You fill my heart with so much joy. The way you run away and laugh and laugh as I try to catch you, or the way you ask me for "help" as you get dirt on your hands and you want it wiped off, or the way you climb on the table outside and you want "help up" (which means down). The way you would just smile as you ran for nothing more than to just run in the simple breeze.
Mommy is sorry I have been so tired and haven't really truly played with you in a few weeks. I apologize. One day you will understand where I am coming from, and there is nothing wrong with taking a break and relaxing for yourself. You have to do that, just make sure that after you take care of you you get back to enjoying baby and life in general. It doesn't make a lot of sense right now, but one day it will. You will have a child of your own, and will want to rest. But don't forget your baby needs you do the things she/he wants to do too. Babies grow up too fast, they don't keep. One minute you're holding a newborn, the next thing you know you're chasing a toddler around and their mind is moving a mile a minute. Create memories. Take a step back, enjoy the simple pleasures in life. One day I know you're not going to want to play with me. You're going to want to hang out with your friends, and I must not take any time EVER for granted that I have with you.
I love you Raegan Grace! You are my ever so sweet blessing. Thank You for allowing mommy to rest. For being okay, just sitting on the couch cuddled next to mommy watching videos and playing games, and reading books when mommy needs to just sit and relax. Thank you for helping me do the little things around the house. And thank you for allowing mommy to join in all your own fun too. To enjoy the sweetness of the enjoyment you get out of the very simple things in life like pulling weeds, and putting grass in a bucket, or saying "hi" to the neighbors on the other side of the fence. Thank You my sweet sweet blessing for bringing me back to reality For helping me appreciate the little things in life. God, is already using you for his work. You are such a blessing to me and I thank you for your ever so sweet nature and care free energetic personality! You make me such a better person my sweet girl. Thank you for being your little sweet self and allowing me to appreciate all the beauty in this world God has blessed us with! You are perfect in so many ways and I am beyond blessed to call you my daughter and to be your mommy. As I write this right now it brings tears to my eyes. And it's probably because it's almost midnight and I am still not asleep because it's been weighing on my heart so much lately. Thank You for taking care of mommy while she has been so tired. I'm working on changing more and more everyday. To be the mommy God has called me to be!
I love you to the moon and back forever and always my sweet blessing!
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Our sad world
Dear world,
I sure wish you would change. I sure wish we could all get along. Treat each other right. Have some type of common decency....
I wish God was at the center of everyone's life. I know this world would be a better place. I know God is shaking his head at what he sees.
We all sin. Yes we do. But killing? Shooting? Stealing? Kidnapping?Hurting someone so physically??? How is this right? How can people be that hard on the inside? Do they not feel? Do they not have a conscious? I don't understand it.
It makes me scared to raise my daughter in this world. I pray over her mind and safety every day. I don't want anything to happen to her because other people can't do what is right.
Even if someone had no religion how can one do some of of these awful things?
My heart aches for our dying world. My heart aches knowing that people are so selfish so heartless in our world.
God,
protect us from the evils of this world. I know You see it all, but I promise You there are people here that love You and want to and do honor You. I know You see us God. Thank You for these people that love You, that honor You, that witness to others, that do good, that are good. Thank You for those that give us hope for mankind!
Devil, you can try to win all you want but when it's all said and done, God will have victory in the end!
I challenge us to get it right. You don't know when your time will be up. When you have to stand before God at the judgement doors and have to account for our actions. We already fall so short with so much small stuff, don't fall short because you don't have a heart for mankind.
God, please change the hearts of those that don't know you. I know you see that they need you! We all do!
I'm praying God for our world. Save us from ourselves and others.
Amen!
I sure wish you would change. I sure wish we could all get along. Treat each other right. Have some type of common decency....
I wish God was at the center of everyone's life. I know this world would be a better place. I know God is shaking his head at what he sees.
We all sin. Yes we do. But killing? Shooting? Stealing? Kidnapping?Hurting someone so physically??? How is this right? How can people be that hard on the inside? Do they not feel? Do they not have a conscious? I don't understand it.
It makes me scared to raise my daughter in this world. I pray over her mind and safety every day. I don't want anything to happen to her because other people can't do what is right.
Even if someone had no religion how can one do some of of these awful things?
My heart aches for our dying world. My heart aches knowing that people are so selfish so heartless in our world.
God,
protect us from the evils of this world. I know You see it all, but I promise You there are people here that love You and want to and do honor You. I know You see us God. Thank You for these people that love You, that honor You, that witness to others, that do good, that are good. Thank You for those that give us hope for mankind!
Devil, you can try to win all you want but when it's all said and done, God will have victory in the end!
I challenge us to get it right. You don't know when your time will be up. When you have to stand before God at the judgement doors and have to account for our actions. We already fall so short with so much small stuff, don't fall short because you don't have a heart for mankind.
God, please change the hearts of those that don't know you. I know you see that they need you! We all do!
I'm praying God for our world. Save us from ourselves and others.
Amen!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
sweet night!
Dear Raegan,
So Daddy was working late tonight so it was just me and you my sweet girl. After picking you up from Jordan's we went to the grocery store to get some things we needed. Every time I put a snack in the cart you would do the "more" sign. I think I made a mistake and took you shopping when you were hungry like mommy does all the time...whoops... But you were such a good girl. Patient throughout the whole store, starring down everyone that passed you and eyeing me every time I placed a new item in the shopping cart. You made me smile!
When we got home I was cooking us dinner. To hold you over I gave you blueberries in your cup. You kept bringing me your cup every few minutes so that I could give you a refill. You must have ate a quarter of the container. My little blueberry eater!
I was worried that when we ate dinner you wouldn't eat much since you had so many blueberries, but you ate two helpings of the chicken alfredo I made and a whole cup of milk. You must have been hungry my dear!
While you finished up dinner you gave mommy time to do the dishes and then we got to play together. You let me chase you around and you would stop in the middle of your run to see if I was really coming to get you and then off you would go just laughing and laughing your oh so sweet laugh.
We sat on the floor together and we did some puzzles. You are so cute the way you set the puzzle in your lap and sit their with your feet all sticking out and working hard to complete your puzzles. Your focus makes me smile.
While sitting on the floor it was obvious you needed a diaper change. I asked you and you patted your diaper so we went to your room to change you. While I had you on the changing table you were getting antsy so I handed you a wipe to hold. You took that wipe and tried to clean your bottom...OHHHH MY!!! And yest that's TMI, but ohhh how it made me laugh out loud.
Instead of putting a new diaper on you I thought it was best to go ahead and give you a bath. I lifted you down from the changing table and you ran naked to the bathroom and stood there banging your hands on the edge of the tub. It was sooo funny as you waited anxiously for me to put you in the tub. You played so sweetly as you always do in the tub. After I cleaned your face you took the wash cloth and clean the frog's face (our faucet cover). You then took the wash cloth and smoothed it out over the edge of the tub as if you were laying it out to dry. Such a big girl and so observant you are my dear.
After your bath, I got you dress in your pjs. Daddy called to tell us he was on the way home and that he wanted me to keep you up till he got home so he could give you love. So I sat in your glider and you took over your room. In the nightstand, you found a purple crayon and you were looking for something to write on so I found an envelope and you sat there coloring on it until daddy came home. When I heard the garage open, I said "Daddy's home" you looked at me said "daddy??" and ran out your bedroom to await your daddy at the door. It was sooo cute! Daddy played with you for a while. Y'all played chase, and he would lift you up and tickle you over and over. You were loving every minute of it.
After a while, Daddy handed you back to me for me to rock you to sleep. You started to cry when Daddy walked away. So he came back in the room, picked you up gave you some more kisses and he handed you back to me... As soon as he did that you must have been content because you laid your head on my shoulder. We rocked for a little while with your sweet head on my shoulder. I was soaking up every minute cuddling with you!
Then I got up, sat you in your crib. You laid down. I put the blanket around you, tucking you in, then leaned down as far as I could in the crib, and kissed your forhead good night. It's probably one of my favorite memories thus far. It was the first time you ever let me do all that. Last night, was the first time you laid down and let me cover you and tuck you in, but tonight, I got so many kisses in as I tucked you in, and I loved every minute of it.
You are growing up my sweet blessing. .
I really needed such a perfect night with you Raegan Grace. Today, I was missing you so much at work! I was so anxious to leave work. Mrs. Jordan was very sweet and text me two sweet pictures of you! It really made me feel so much better seeing your sweet face.
So thank you my sweet girl. Thank you for filling my life with so much love and joy!
I love you all the way to the moon and back forever and always!
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
end of Christmas break
Dear Raegan,
Christmas break has come and gone and when you wake up in the morning you will be off to Mrs. Jordan's to spend the day with all of your wonderful friends who I am sure that you have missed.
Mommy is really going to miss you. I'm honestly not very good at sharing you and I love having you all to myself. But I know that other's need your love and mommy's love too! :)
We have had a great break (minus your ear infection). It's been fun hearing you talk and do sooo much more. Some new words included: "trash" "sock" "bird" "dog". You also have done many new things like showing me the diaper sign, throwing your trash away, following simple commands like where's so and so, bring me your cup, bring me your milk, etc. All so very smart. You have also become very OBSESSED with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. You would bring me the remote first thing in the morning and jump up and down and point to the TV until I turned it on. If I left the Ipad out you would become very impatint and then a huge smile would burst across your face as soon as Mickey appeared on the screen. You are definitetly obsessed. It's really cute.
It's been fun and a blessing spending the last 14 days with you. I will really miss you when I'm at work tomorrow. You are such a fun, happy, loving, and smart baby and I am sooo going to miss everything about you.
I think today you knew I was going back to work tomorrow because you gave me extra hugs and kisses today, and when I went to lay you in your crib tonight you laid your head on my shoulder and I just stood there holding you in the dark. It was precious as you babbled away with your head on my shoulder. Every once in a while you would look up at me to see if I was acknowledging what you were talking about. It was so cute. Brought tears to my eyes. My sweet blessing. So very sweet, so very smart, so very beautiful.
I know you will have a great day tomorrow, and I sure do hope mommy does too! I am sure my students are excited to see each other and tell me all about their break!
I love you Raegan Grace all the way to the moon and back forever and always. Know that even when I am not with you, you are always in my heart and mind.
XOXOXO
Love Mommy!
Christmas break has come and gone and when you wake up in the morning you will be off to Mrs. Jordan's to spend the day with all of your wonderful friends who I am sure that you have missed.
Mommy is really going to miss you. I'm honestly not very good at sharing you and I love having you all to myself. But I know that other's need your love and mommy's love too! :)
We have had a great break (minus your ear infection). It's been fun hearing you talk and do sooo much more. Some new words included: "trash" "sock" "bird" "dog". You also have done many new things like showing me the diaper sign, throwing your trash away, following simple commands like where's so and so, bring me your cup, bring me your milk, etc. All so very smart. You have also become very OBSESSED with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. You would bring me the remote first thing in the morning and jump up and down and point to the TV until I turned it on. If I left the Ipad out you would become very impatint and then a huge smile would burst across your face as soon as Mickey appeared on the screen. You are definitetly obsessed. It's really cute.
It's been fun and a blessing spending the last 14 days with you. I will really miss you when I'm at work tomorrow. You are such a fun, happy, loving, and smart baby and I am sooo going to miss everything about you.
I think today you knew I was going back to work tomorrow because you gave me extra hugs and kisses today, and when I went to lay you in your crib tonight you laid your head on my shoulder and I just stood there holding you in the dark. It was precious as you babbled away with your head on my shoulder. Every once in a while you would look up at me to see if I was acknowledging what you were talking about. It was so cute. Brought tears to my eyes. My sweet blessing. So very sweet, so very smart, so very beautiful.
I know you will have a great day tomorrow, and I sure do hope mommy does too! I am sure my students are excited to see each other and tell me all about their break!
I love you Raegan Grace all the way to the moon and back forever and always. Know that even when I am not with you, you are always in my heart and mind.
XOXOXO
Love Mommy!
2013 New Years Resolutions
Dear Raegan,
Today I write to you because it's the FIRST day (well 2nd day by the time this entry gets posted) NEW YEAR! I cannot believe that 2013 is already here! I feel like I was just meeting 2012, and now the year is over! Sweet girl, I cannot believe how fast time flies! I just can't get over how fast it really does go by. I can remember being a kid and saying I can't wait to grow up. Once I was a grown up I couldn't wait to get a job, get married, start a family. And now that all my dreams have come true...I just wish it would slow down. You blink...and it all goes by. It's been wonderful though, truly it has. And I wouldn't change a thing about it, because it lead me right where I need to be, and that's being your mommy!
With today being a NEW YEAR, everyone normally uses this time to start New Year's Resolutions. Every year people pick goals (realistic, and sometimes even unattaiable goals) but we pick things we want to accomplish, rather losing weight, growing in their relationship with God, eating healthier, the list goes on and on.
Every year, I maybe meet half my goals. Which I actually consider a success. Based on last year's 2012 goals I met some of them.
Here's a few (I am showing these only because I do feel it's important to reflect..what's the point of making goals if you never refer to them...haha)
Blue font=2012 goals PINK font=description of met or not met goal, hehe
1)Lose 20 lbs! I want to be at least pre baby weight if not better! I pray God that I can create and stick to a diet and excersise program!
I DID MEET this goal! BUT NOT by diet and excersise! I am about 20lbs lighter but 20 more lbs lighter than I was prebaby weight! So I lost a total of about 40 lbs!Thank you nursing Raegan!!!
2) Be the best Mommy and wife to my sweet family! God help me to be Proverbs 31 woman! Help me to be the woman my husband deserves and the mother Raegan deserves to have.
I DID MEET THIS GOAL! Not to toot my own horn, but I am a pretty awesome mommy and wife! Hehe! I could always do better, but I did a pretty good job! hehe!
3) Pay off debt. I would love to be able to be a stay at home mommy ONE DAY! It may not happen next year or the next, but I know if we can work on some of our debt we will be in a better situation to make a sound decision. I plan to read Dave Ramsey's book and create a plan with my sweet husband. Because even if I keep working, it still would be nice to pay off debt and save more! God help us to be discplined in our finanicial plans!
GOAL NOT MET! :( Sad that we didn't meet this goal. We came up with great plans for implementing this, but were unrealistic when it came to gas money, childcare, money we actually need to spend, etc. So we pretty much talked about it always, but never went into full implementation. SAD!!!!!!!!!!!
4) I pray God that I will also find a balance between home and work. I want to be the best mommy and wife in the world to my sweet family, BUT I also want to be the best teacher I can possibly be. Finding balance between the two is going to be hard for me God, so help me draw the line, and do a great job at home and at work!
MAKING PROGRESS....still lots of room for improvements
5) For years, Drew and I have said we need to create a meal plan. We always ponder over what to cook every night and we end up wasting so much time just figuring out what to eat. I pray God that we will sit down together and actually come up with some delicious healthy meals for our family and stick to the plan.
NOT MET....yea, we did this for a week, and never stuck to it...dang it...
6) I also want to update my blog at least once a month! And make-up 3 postings from the past 3 months since Raegan has been born!
MET! I did update my blog at least once a month for 11/12 months. So although it's not a complete 100% I consider it pretty good effort so yay for me!!! :)
But like I said, I feel it's important to reflect on what you did do last year, so there's my reflection on last year's goals. Not the best, not the worse...haha!
But anyway onto this year!!!
I have been pondering for a week now what my 2013 new year's resolutions should be. When my head hit the pillow last night I was nervous. New things have me anxious. They make me nervous. It's one of my quirks. As the ball dropped last night I was actually sad that 2012 had ended. Because that meant a new year full of unknowns. My insides tightened up and I even woke your daddy as I told him all that I was feeling (after our midnight kiss of course).
And honestly it didn't even hit me till I woke up this morning (well yesterday by the time I post this blog) on what my resolutions should be this year.
I came up with ONE New Year's Resolution. One simple yet very complex goal.
Live my life with GOD as the CENTER of it!
Sounds easy doesn't it? or does it make you want to run the other way and say no way this is my life???
Well to me, it's sounds easy, but if you look at what all that entails its sounds very very complex. Sounds so unattaniable. So hard.
But as I sit here and wrote that statement on facebook this morning I think to myself if I am a Christian this is what I am suppose to do. I need to be living my life for God. Everything I do should be for Him. He should be the center of my marriage, my career, my fianciances, my friendships, my relationships, my home. I should be more holy. I should be more Christ like in all that I do. And I know this is something I will FALL short at numerous times I am sure. But I am okay with that. Because Jesus already paid the price for my sins, all I need to do is seek and ask for forgiveness.
I am a Chrisitian I have given my life to Christ, but the hard part is always letting Him be in control. So many times I have said, God I want You to do this and this, but I only want You to handle those things, I got the rest. WE are ALL guilty of this. It's so easy to do, but that's not what we should be doing. We need to let God be in control of ALL aspects of our life.
So for me this is what I think it's going to look like, well how I plan to start....And I say think because I don't know how else God will change my heart this year... so for now...this is what I think, maybe not God's plans but I am sure He will show me the way.
-I want God in the center of my home this includes my marriage and how we raise you Raegan Grace. I want you to grow in a loving godly home. I want you to see me praying, I want you to see me immersed in God's word, I want you to see your mommy making decisions that although I may be scared to make them I can be at peace in knowing that's what God wanted me to do. I want you to see me being a great mommy to you by caring for you and immersing you in God's word and raaising you in the way you should go.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it
I want you to see me being a proverbs 31 wife and loving and respecting your father. I also want you to see me giving with my money and time to others. And give God full control over our finances. We must do better and I know we can, if I truly give it to God. I want to be the best mommy to you and the best wife to your daddy. I want to be more of a PROVERBS 31 woman :)
Proverbs 31 is sooo full of goodness, holiness...the title, scares me...yet entices me.
-I also want God at the center of my career as well. Every day at work we do our morning prayer and thats a start. But I need to remember to be more Godly in all that I do. In how I teach, in how I interact with my students, parents, and coworkers. And just how I set about completing and doing my work in general. I must do it all for God.
-There are so many ways I want God to be at the center of my life. I am going to start with home and work for now. But I am sure as the year progresses I am going to see him at the center of much more. So please keep me in prayer as I embark on the give my control over and watch God work in my life.
Going to be hard, but it's something to strive for!
Today I write to you because it's the FIRST day (well 2nd day by the time this entry gets posted) NEW YEAR! I cannot believe that 2013 is already here! I feel like I was just meeting 2012, and now the year is over! Sweet girl, I cannot believe how fast time flies! I just can't get over how fast it really does go by. I can remember being a kid and saying I can't wait to grow up. Once I was a grown up I couldn't wait to get a job, get married, start a family. And now that all my dreams have come true...I just wish it would slow down. You blink...and it all goes by. It's been wonderful though, truly it has. And I wouldn't change a thing about it, because it lead me right where I need to be, and that's being your mommy!
With today being a NEW YEAR, everyone normally uses this time to start New Year's Resolutions. Every year people pick goals (realistic, and sometimes even unattaiable goals) but we pick things we want to accomplish, rather losing weight, growing in their relationship with God, eating healthier, the list goes on and on.
Every year, I maybe meet half my goals. Which I actually consider a success. Based on last year's 2012 goals I met some of them.
Here's a few (I am showing these only because I do feel it's important to reflect..what's the point of making goals if you never refer to them...haha)
Blue font=2012 goals PINK font=description of met or not met goal, hehe
1)Lose 20 lbs! I want to be at least pre baby weight if not better! I pray God that I can create and stick to a diet and excersise program!
I DID MEET this goal! BUT NOT by diet and excersise! I am about 20lbs lighter but 20 more lbs lighter than I was prebaby weight! So I lost a total of about 40 lbs!Thank you nursing Raegan!!!
2) Be the best Mommy and wife to my sweet family! God help me to be Proverbs 31 woman! Help me to be the woman my husband deserves and the mother Raegan deserves to have.
I DID MEET THIS GOAL! Not to toot my own horn, but I am a pretty awesome mommy and wife! Hehe! I could always do better, but I did a pretty good job! hehe!
3) Pay off debt. I would love to be able to be a stay at home mommy ONE DAY! It may not happen next year or the next, but I know if we can work on some of our debt we will be in a better situation to make a sound decision. I plan to read Dave Ramsey's book and create a plan with my sweet husband. Because even if I keep working, it still would be nice to pay off debt and save more! God help us to be discplined in our finanicial plans!
GOAL NOT MET! :( Sad that we didn't meet this goal. We came up with great plans for implementing this, but were unrealistic when it came to gas money, childcare, money we actually need to spend, etc. So we pretty much talked about it always, but never went into full implementation. SAD!!!!!!!!!!!
4) I pray God that I will also find a balance between home and work. I want to be the best mommy and wife in the world to my sweet family, BUT I also want to be the best teacher I can possibly be. Finding balance between the two is going to be hard for me God, so help me draw the line, and do a great job at home and at work!
MAKING PROGRESS....still lots of room for improvements
5) For years, Drew and I have said we need to create a meal plan. We always ponder over what to cook every night and we end up wasting so much time just figuring out what to eat. I pray God that we will sit down together and actually come up with some delicious healthy meals for our family and stick to the plan.
NOT MET....yea, we did this for a week, and never stuck to it...dang it...
6) I also want to update my blog at least once a month! And make-up 3 postings from the past 3 months since Raegan has been born!
MET! I did update my blog at least once a month for 11/12 months. So although it's not a complete 100% I consider it pretty good effort so yay for me!!! :)
But like I said, I feel it's important to reflect on what you did do last year, so there's my reflection on last year's goals. Not the best, not the worse...haha!
But anyway onto this year!!!
I have been pondering for a week now what my 2013 new year's resolutions should be. When my head hit the pillow last night I was nervous. New things have me anxious. They make me nervous. It's one of my quirks. As the ball dropped last night I was actually sad that 2012 had ended. Because that meant a new year full of unknowns. My insides tightened up and I even woke your daddy as I told him all that I was feeling (after our midnight kiss of course).
And honestly it didn't even hit me till I woke up this morning (well yesterday by the time I post this blog) on what my resolutions should be this year.
I came up with ONE New Year's Resolution. One simple yet very complex goal.
Live my life with GOD as the CENTER of it!
Sounds easy doesn't it? or does it make you want to run the other way and say no way this is my life???
Well to me, it's sounds easy, but if you look at what all that entails its sounds very very complex. Sounds so unattaniable. So hard.
But as I sit here and wrote that statement on facebook this morning I think to myself if I am a Christian this is what I am suppose to do. I need to be living my life for God. Everything I do should be for Him. He should be the center of my marriage, my career, my fianciances, my friendships, my relationships, my home. I should be more holy. I should be more Christ like in all that I do. And I know this is something I will FALL short at numerous times I am sure. But I am okay with that. Because Jesus already paid the price for my sins, all I need to do is seek and ask for forgiveness.
I am a Chrisitian I have given my life to Christ, but the hard part is always letting Him be in control. So many times I have said, God I want You to do this and this, but I only want You to handle those things, I got the rest. WE are ALL guilty of this. It's so easy to do, but that's not what we should be doing. We need to let God be in control of ALL aspects of our life.
So for me this is what I think it's going to look like, well how I plan to start....And I say think because I don't know how else God will change my heart this year... so for now...this is what I think, maybe not God's plans but I am sure He will show me the way.
-I want God in the center of my home this includes my marriage and how we raise you Raegan Grace. I want you to grow in a loving godly home. I want you to see me praying, I want you to see me immersed in God's word, I want you to see your mommy making decisions that although I may be scared to make them I can be at peace in knowing that's what God wanted me to do. I want you to see me being a great mommy to you by caring for you and immersing you in God's word and raaising you in the way you should go.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it
I want you to see me being a proverbs 31 wife and loving and respecting your father. I also want you to see me giving with my money and time to others. And give God full control over our finances. We must do better and I know we can, if I truly give it to God. I want to be the best mommy to you and the best wife to your daddy. I want to be more of a PROVERBS 31 woman :)
Proverbs 31 is sooo full of goodness, holiness...the title, scares me...yet entices me.
Proverbs 31:10-31
New International Version (NIV)
10 [a]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
-I also want God at the center of my career as well. Every day at work we do our morning prayer and thats a start. But I need to remember to be more Godly in all that I do. In how I teach, in how I interact with my students, parents, and coworkers. And just how I set about completing and doing my work in general. I must do it all for God.
Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men
Proverbs 16:3 Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.
Going to be hard, but it's something to strive for!
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Looking forward to a great 2013 year! I hope we all have a great blessed year ahead of us!
Raegan Grace, I know I probably ventured off here and there, and may not have talked directly to you, but this is for you. I want you to know that God has plans for you too. I can't wait to see what they are my sweet child! TRUST IN HIM WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND JUST WATCH AND SEE THEM UNFOLD! I love you to the moon and back forever and always!
Love Mommy!
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