sweet night!

Dear Raegan,

So Daddy was working late tonight so it was just me and you my sweet girl. After picking you up from Jordan's we went to the grocery store to get some things we needed. Every time I put a snack in the cart you would do the "more" sign. I think I made a mistake and took you shopping when you were hungry like mommy does all the time...whoops... But you were such a good girl. Patient throughout the whole store, starring down everyone that passed you and eyeing me every time I placed a new item in the shopping cart. You made me smile!

When we got home I was cooking us dinner. To hold you over I gave you blueberries in your cup. You kept bringing me your cup every few minutes so that I could give you a refill. You must have ate a quarter of the container. My little blueberry eater!

I was worried that when we ate dinner you wouldn't eat much since you had so many blueberries, but you ate two helpings of the chicken alfredo I made and a whole cup of milk. You must have been hungry my dear!

While you finished up dinner you gave mommy time to do the dishes and then we got to play together. You let me chase you around and you would stop in the middle of your run to see if I was really coming to get you and then off you would go just laughing and laughing your oh so sweet laugh. 

We sat on the floor together and we did some puzzles. You are so cute the way you set the puzzle in your lap and sit their with your feet all sticking out and working hard to complete your puzzles. Your focus makes me smile.

While sitting on the floor it was obvious you needed a diaper change. I asked you and you patted your diaper so we went to your room to change you. While I had you on the changing table you were getting antsy so I handed you a wipe to hold. You took that wipe and tried to clean your bottom...OHHHH MY!!! And yest that's TMI, but ohhh how it made me laugh out loud.

Instead of putting a new diaper on you I thought it was best to go ahead and give you a bath. I lifted you down from the changing table and you ran naked to the bathroom and stood there banging your hands on the  edge of the tub. It was sooo funny as you waited anxiously for me to put you in the tub. You played so sweetly as you always do in the tub. After I cleaned your face you took the wash cloth and clean the frog's face (our faucet cover). You then took the wash cloth and smoothed it out over the edge of the tub as if you were laying it out to dry. Such a big girl and so observant you are my dear.

After your bath, I got you dress in your pjs. Daddy called to tell us he was on the way home and that he wanted me to keep you up till he got home so he could give you love. So I sat in your glider and you took over your room. In the nightstand, you found a purple crayon and you were looking for something to write on so I found an envelope and you sat there coloring on it until daddy came home. When I heard the garage open, I said "Daddy's home" you looked at me said "daddy??" and ran out your bedroom to await your daddy at the door. It was sooo cute! Daddy played with you for a while. Y'all played chase, and he would lift you up and tickle you over and over. You were loving every minute of it. 

After a while, Daddy handed you back to me for me to rock you to sleep. You started to cry when Daddy walked away. So he came back in the room, picked you up gave you some more kisses and he handed you back to me... As soon as he did that you must have been content because you laid your head on my shoulder. We rocked for a little while with your sweet head on my shoulder. I was soaking up every minute cuddling with you!

Then I got up, sat you in your crib. You laid down. I put the blanket around you, tucking you in, then leaned down as far as I could in the crib, and kissed your forhead good night. It's probably one of my favorite memories thus far. It was the first time you ever let me do all that. Last night, was the first time you laid down and let me cover you and tuck you in, but tonight, I got so many kisses in as I tucked you in, and I loved every minute of it.

You are growing up my sweet blessing. . 

I really needed such a perfect night with you Raegan Grace. Today, I was missing you so much at work! I was so anxious to leave work. Mrs. Jordan was very sweet and text me two sweet pictures of you! It really made me feel so much better seeing your sweet face.

So thank you my sweet girl. Thank you for filling my life with so much love and joy!

I love you all the way to the moon and back forever and always!

Love,

Mommy

end of Christmas break

Dear Raegan,

Christmas break has come and gone and when you wake up in the morning you will be off to Mrs. Jordan's to spend the day with all of your wonderful friends who I am sure that you have missed.

Mommy is really going to miss you. I'm honestly not very good at sharing you and I love having you all to myself. But I know that other's need your love and mommy's love too! :)

We have had a great break (minus your ear infection). It's been fun hearing you talk and do sooo much more. Some new words included: "trash" "sock" "bird" "dog". You also have done many new things like showing me the diaper sign, throwing your trash away, following simple commands like where's so and so, bring me your cup, bring me your milk, etc. All so very smart. You have also become very OBSESSED with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. You would bring me the remote first thing in the morning and jump up and down and point to the TV until I turned it on. If I left the Ipad out you would become very impatint and then a huge smile would burst across your face as soon as Mickey appeared on the screen. You are definitetly obsessed. It's really cute.

It's been fun and a blessing spending the last 14 days with you. I will really miss you when I'm at work tomorrow. You are such a fun, happy, loving, and smart baby and I am sooo going to miss everything about you.

I think today you knew I was going back to work tomorrow because you gave me extra hugs and kisses today, and when I went to lay you in your crib tonight you laid your head on my shoulder and I just stood there holding you in the dark. It was precious as you babbled away with your  head on my shoulder. Every once in a while you would look up at me to see if I was acknowledging what you were talking about. It was so cute. Brought tears to my eyes. My sweet blessing. So very sweet, so very smart, so very beautiful.

I know you will have a great day tomorrow, and I sure do hope mommy does too! I am sure my students are excited to see each other and tell me all about their break!

I love you Raegan Grace all the way to the moon and back forever and always. Know that even when I am not with you, you are always in my heart and mind.

XOXOXO
Love Mommy!

2013 New Years Resolutions

Dear Raegan,

Today I write to you because it's the FIRST day (well 2nd day by the time this entry gets posted) NEW YEAR! I cannot believe that 2013 is already here! I feel like I was just meeting 2012, and now the year is over! Sweet girl, I cannot believe how fast time flies! I just can't get over how fast it really does go by. I can remember being a kid and saying I can't wait to grow up. Once I was a grown up I couldn't wait to get a job, get married, start a family. And now that all my dreams have come true...I just wish it would slow down. You blink...and it all goes by. It's been wonderful though, truly it has. And I wouldn't change a thing about it, because it lead me right where I need to be, and that's being your mommy!

With today being a NEW YEAR, everyone normally uses this time to start New Year's Resolutions. Every year people pick goals (realistic, and sometimes even unattaiable goals) but we pick things we want to accomplish, rather losing weight, growing in their relationship with God, eating healthier, the list goes on and on.

Every year, I maybe meet half my goals. Which I actually consider a success. Based on last year's 2012 goals I met some of them.

Here's a few (I am showing these only because I do feel it's important to reflect..what's the point of making goals if you never refer to them...haha)

Blue font=2012 goals PINK font=description of met or not met goal, hehe

1)Lose 20 lbs! I want to be at least pre baby weight if not better! I pray God that I can create and stick to a diet and excersise program!

I DID MEET this goal! BUT NOT by diet and excersise! I am about 20lbs lighter  but 20 more lbs lighter than I was prebaby weight! So I lost a total of about 40 lbs!Thank you nursing Raegan!!!


2) Be the best Mommy and wife to my sweet family! God help me to be Proverbs 31 woman! Help me to be the woman my husband deserves and the mother Raegan deserves to have.

I DID MEET THIS GOAL! Not to toot my own horn, but I am a pretty awesome mommy and wife! Hehe! I could always do better, but I did a pretty good job! hehe!


3) Pay off debt. I would love to be able to be a stay at home mommy ONE DAY! It may not happen next year or the next, but I know if we can work on some of our debt we will be in a better situation to make a sound decision. I plan to read Dave Ramsey's book and create a plan with my sweet husband. Because even if I keep working, it still would be nice to pay off debt and save more! God help us to be discplined in our finanicial plans!

GOAL NOT MET! :( Sad that we didn't meet this goal. We came up with great plans for implementing this, but were unrealistic when it came to gas money, childcare, money we actually need to spend, etc. So we pretty much talked about it always, but never went into full implementation. SAD!!!!!!!!!!!


4) I pray God that I will also find a balance between home and work. I want to be the best mommy and wife in the world to my sweet family, BUT I also want to be the best teacher I can possibly be. Finding balance between the two is going to be hard for me God, so help me draw the line, and do a great job at home and at work!

MAKING PROGRESS....still lots of room for improvements


5) For years, Drew and I have said we need to create a meal plan. We always ponder over what to cook every night  and we end up wasting so much time just figuring out what to eat. I pray God that we will sit down together and actually come up with some delicious healthy meals for our family and stick to the plan.

NOT MET....yea, we did this for a week, and never stuck to it...dang it...


6) I also want to update my blog at least once a month! And make-up 3 postings from the past 3 months since Raegan has been born!

MET! I did update my blog at least once a month for 11/12 months. So although it's not a complete 100% I consider it pretty good effort so yay for me!!! :)

But like I said, I feel it's important to reflect on what you did do last year, so there's my reflection on last year's goals. Not the best, not the worse...haha!

But anyway onto this year!!!

I have been pondering for a week now what my 2013 new year's resolutions should be. When my head hit the pillow last night I was nervous. New things have me anxious. They make me nervous. It's one of my quirks. As the ball dropped last night I was actually sad that 2012 had ended. Because that meant a new year full of unknowns. My insides tightened up and I even woke your daddy as I told him all that I was feeling (after our midnight kiss of course).

And honestly it didn't even hit me till I woke up this morning (well yesterday by the time I post this blog) on what my resolutions should be this year.

I came up with ONE New Year's Resolution. One simple yet very complex goal.

Live my life with GOD as the CENTER of it!

Sounds easy doesn't it? or does it make you want to run the other way and say no way this is my life???

Well to me, it's sounds easy, but if you look at what all that entails its sounds very very complex. Sounds so unattaniable. So hard.

But as I sit here and wrote that statement on facebook this morning I think to myself if I am a Christian this is what I am suppose to do. I need to be living my life for God. Everything I do should be for Him. He should be the center of my marriage, my career, my fianciances, my friendships, my relationships, my home. I should be more holy. I should be more Christ like in all that I do. And I know this is something I will FALL short at numerous times I am sure. But I am okay with that. Because Jesus already paid the price for my sins, all I need to do is seek and ask for forgiveness.

I am a Chrisitian I have given my life to Christ, but the hard part is always letting Him be in control. So many times I have said, God I want You to do this and this, but I only want You to handle those things, I got the rest. WE are ALL guilty of this. It's so easy to do, but that's not what we should be doing. We need to let God be in control of ALL aspects of our life.

So for me this is what I think it's going to look like, well how I plan to start....And I say think because I don't know how else God will change my heart this year... so for now...this is what I think, maybe not God's plans but I am sure He will show me the way.

-I want God in the center of my home this includes my marriage and how we raise you Raegan Grace. I want you to grow in a loving godly home. I want you to see me praying, I want you to see me immersed in God's word, I want you to see your mommy making decisions that although I may be scared to make them I can be at peace in knowing that's what God wanted me to do. I want you to see me being a great mommy to you by caring for you and immersing you in God's word and raaising you in the way you should go.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it

I want you to see me being a proverbs 31 wife and loving and respecting your father. I also want you to see me giving with my money and time to others. And give God full control over our finances. We must do better and I know we can, if I truly give it to God. I want to be the best mommy to you and the best wife to your daddy. I want to be more of a PROVERBS 31 woman :)

 Proverbs 31 is sooo full of goodness, holiness...the title, scares me...yet entices me.

Proverbs 31:10-31

New International Version (NIV)

^10 [a]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

-I also want God at the center of my career as well. Every day at work we do our morning prayer and thats a start. But I need to remember to be more Godly in all that I do. In how I teach, in how I interact with my students, parents, and coworkers. And just how I set about completing and doing my work in general. I must do it all for God.

Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men

Proverbs 16:3 Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.

-There are so many ways I want God to be at the center of my life. I am going to start with home and work for now. But I am sure as the year progresses I am going to see him at the center of much more. So please keep me in prayer as I embark on the give my control over and watch God work in my life.

Going to be hard, but it's something to strive for!

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Looking forward to a great 2013 year! I hope we all have a great blessed year ahead of us!

Raegan Grace, I know I probably ventured off here and there, and may not have talked directly to you, but this is for you. I want you to know that God has plans for you too. I can't wait to see what they are my sweet child! TRUST IN HIM WITH ALL YOUR HEART AND JUST WATCH AND SEE THEM UNFOLD! I love you to the moon and back forever and always!

Love Mommy!

2012 blessings

WOW! I cannot believe that 2012 is coming to an end! (I started this blog entry yesterday, but was too tired to finish it, sooo yea) Crazy how time flies. I never really understood that phrase before having Raegan Grace. But boy do I understand it now. It feels like it was just last month that I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl, but here 2012 came and she is already a year old and growing and learning so much as a toddler. Here's my year in review!

January

Mommy returned to work after 3 months of maternity leave

Daddy was sweet enought to bring Raegan to see mommy after missing her on my first day back to work after maternity leave

you started childcare with Tracy!

She took such good care of you!

After 4 days of no bottles, you finally took your first bottle for Tracy!

4 months old and your first cereal

February

Sonic trip to Cancun, Mexico

you spent the week with THE Hysners! First time away from Mommy and Daddy!

you spent the week with THE Hysners! First time away from Mommy and Daddy!

First Valentine's Day

first foods: carrots!

first two bottom teeth

March

celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary



celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary


April

Daddy celebrated his 3rd year as Operating Partner of Sonic





your 1st Easter!

Raegan's 1st Easter!

Raegan's 1st Easter!

Raegan's baby dedication at church

in One month, Raegan learned to SIT UP and CRAWL at 6 months old!!!

I celebrated my 26th birthday

May

my niece Rebecca Lynn was born May 3

I started my FIRST daily Facebook prayer on May 21, 2012 (here's part of my draft that I posted)

June

Raegan's first trip to the ZOO :)

I got my braces off after wearing them for two years!

Raegan's first time in a pool and first out of state trip visiting my family in VA

July

Raegan's first time at the beach

Raegan's first 4th of July



Raegan's first cow appreciation outfit



Raegan learned to WALK at 9 months old! She took her first few steps a few days before this pic!

August

First Family Vacation to Litchfield Beach

Raegan started childcare at Mrs. Jordan's!

started my 5th year of teaching by having my sweet husband hand deliver flowers to me!


 
September

Raegan Grace turned ONE year old!

Raegan Grace turned ONE year old!

Raegan Grace turned ONE year old!

October

October Mom's Club! One year before, One year after :)

Raegan's first field trip to the pumpkin patch

Raegan's first trip the STATE FAIR

Raegan's 2nd Halloween!

November

RG first time voting at Mrs. Jordan's and she waited 3.5 hours with mommy and daddy to vote in the election!

Drew celebrated his 27th birthday!

Happy Thanksgiving!

December

Merry Christmas

Raegan's 2nd Christmas

*Hope you enjoyed my 2012 year in review! I know I left a lot out, but it was so hard to pick off Facebook things that happened in our life!!!

Savoring the moment

Dear Raegan Grace,

Tonight as I was rocking you to sleep (which by the way doesn't really happen that I rock you to sleep. It's more of you nursing for 5 minutes while I rock you then you sitting up and me laying you in your crib) but tonight you were soo precious. You sat up but instead of getting antsy you laid your sweet head on my shoulder. So we just rocked. Me soaking in all your sweetness smelling your freshly washed hair and the lotion on you. You were so sweet. Head all nozzled up against my neck. It was a perfect moment. I decided I would take a picture of you sleeping sweetly on me and when I took the picture on my phone I looked at it you were all smiles. It was so very sweet (see pic below) Made me feel like you were savoring the moment too!

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I can't believe it. Although, it feels like the holiday season with the Christmas tree up, nativity scene, lights up outside, Christmas movies on tv, wonderful time with friends and family. It all adds up to Christmas time, but yet to me it just doesn't feel like tomorrow is Christmas Eve and that Santa will come tomorrow. It's crazy to me.

Tomorrow we will be making our annual breakfast for dinner on Christmas Eve and then headed to Christmas Eve service at church, then coming home to make birthday cupcakes for Jesus while daddy goes back to work. And then Santa will come and we will wake up and it will be Christmas day and you will open your presents and will eat dinner and read the christmas story. The plans are all there. The traditions are there. And honestly I can't wait for all these events to happen.

I think the reason it doesn't feel like Christmas to me is that I don't want it to be here because then it will have to end. The next two days will fly by and then it's over. All the excitement, all the traditions, will all be put away until next year. Christmas break will be over etc. and mommy is not ready for all that.

Time just flies now that you are here and I wish it didn't but it does. I am trying my best to soak up every minute with you. Every minute we spend with our friends and our family I cherish it with you. And I thank God that He blessed us with you.

I hope as you get older that you will cherish everything there is to cherish about the Christmas season. I hope that you will carry on some of our traditions, but start some of your own traditions too. I hope that you will cherish every moment with your friends and your family. That you will not get caught up in the hustle and the bustle of the season but remember the true reason for the season. I hope that you will teach your kids the Christmas story like mommy is teaching you and that its not about what you get for Christmas but the true meaning of Christ.

I love you my sweet sweet blessing! Always have and always will! I am so excited to have this 2nd Christmas with you and all the joy it will bring to my heart as we create so many memories and learn about Christ together! I love you all the way to the moon and back forever and always!

Merry Christmas my sweet blessing!

Love,
Mommy

I can remember as a kid

When my brother and I were kids I can remember waking up in the middle of the night throwing up (or waking up to my brother throwing up) and can remember crying and feeling soooo sick. I can remember tip toeing to my parents room and knocking ever so lightly on their door to tell them I (or my brother) was sick. Their response always surprised me "oh you're sick. Go back to bed, sleep it off" and my response but "I'm throwing up and my bed is a mess".... "Take some medicine and change your sheets, you will be okay"

Okay.... Yep okay I was and okay I am today.


But I still can't help but to reflect back on this. I would imagine I was in elementary school. I just can't imagine as a mother or a father telling my child to go take care of themselves when they are vomiting. And the worst part, I can remember being sick vomiting ALOT as a child too... That's the sad part. I am sure I reached a time in my life where I no longer knocked on my parents door to let them know I was sick. I just took care of myself.

I can remember many nights getting up as a child and taking care of myself or taking care of my brother when he was sick. I can remember going to the medicine cabinet getting my own medicine. I can remember stripping down my sheets off my bed then going to sleep on the couch because I had no extra sheets to put on my bed. I can remember standing in the bathroom with my older brother when he would awake sick and bringing him medicine. I can even remember him coming into my room in the middle of the night and sleeping on my floor because we was sick. I can remember him even asking me one night if it was normal to pee blood. The list goes go and on.

As a mother now, I look reflect back on those early years of my life in awe. Tonight Raegan was very sick. She was vomiting over and over and it was completely breaking my heart. I could never imagine telling Raegan "go back to bed, sleep it off" I cannot imagine not getting up with her in the middle of the night or telling her to go take care of herself.

Now I know Raegan is a baby and that's different than a child. And I am sure (well hopeful) that my parents got up with me as a baby, but even when Raegan is older. Heck, she could be an adult but (I had an explicit word here then my fruits of the spirit came back to me) if she's puking her guts out I WILL be there holding her hair out of her face (SN: call me crazy but maybe thats why my hair ALWaYS has to be in a pony tail at night to this day) or rubbing her back (just like I was tonight). I will be there getting her the medicine she needs and changing her sheets. And I will be the one climbing in bed with her or welcoming her in my bed to comfort her. I don't care if I am puked on a million times (which by the way I went through four changes of clothes myself tonight).

Now I know Raegan can't talk yet, but one day she will. And when I hear her sweet sick voice on the other side of my bedroom door telling me she doesn't feel good you can bet I am going to do everything in my power to help her feel better.

Children are precious gifts from God. I hope that everyone treats their children as precious gifts. I know I sure do value and thank God for my sweet blessing!

All this reminded me of this quote:
"Not a way to be a perfect mother but a million ways to be a good one"

Raegan Grace,

I promise you no matter how sick you are I will always take care of you! You will never experience what I did as a child I can promise you that! I will do everything in my power to be a good mother to you! Please know just how much I want your life to be different than mine. Please know my sweet baby girl just how much I would do anything in the world for you. And this stomach bug that is causing you so much discomfort tonight if I could take all the pain away from you I surely would. I love you Raegan Grace! You are my sweet oh so sweet blessing and I am praying that God heals your illness very soon! I love you all the way to the moon and back forever and always!!!

Love Mommy!!!