I don't know about the rest of y'all but this summer flew by me so fast I hardly had time to catch my breath. Heck I can count on one hand how many days I actually had "relaxed days" (yea y'all try relaxing with a 22 month old jumping beside you on the couch). Kinda sad really when you think about having two whole months off when you are a teacher.
But us teachers know we don't get 3 months off like some think we do. We get 2 months off, and of those two months you are spent busy in trainings for new textbook adoptions, or new leadership programs, and team planning days, and a week to set up your classroom, and another week of kindergarten camp...etc. And then we are researching pinterest, or making stuff and crafting away, and planning and designing lessons so that we will have the perfect classroom with the best management systems in place so WE feel organized and ready for the school year. So that we can have a smooth meet the teacher night, a smooth first week of school, and ultimately a smooth school year. So that when our students walk in they are excited about what they see, and when their parents walk in they are confident in you because your room is in order and you are organized. And because we feel ready as a teacher, we are bubbly, we are excited, we can't wait to dig in with all our new ideas and lessons! It weighs on us heavy as we try to do everything in advance as we prepare for a new school year. Because what we did last year, well that's not going to work, all that research, reflection, and new innovative ideas we got this summer, well ALL that is going to work THIS YEAR! And we all know next year we will tweak this and that and start the whole process all over again. WHY? because we don't do the same things every year. We learn and we grow as professionals, we gain new ideas from one another, each year we gain more experience, we want what is best for our group of kids so we change and adapt our lessons, our environment, our philosophy our thinking. And all that GREAT stuff takes time. I started all my new ideas at the beginning of July, I don't think I have gone to bed early not once since July because I have been busy working on SOMETHING for my classroom rather it was a new sign that will surely fit perfect on that one shelf and surely it will inspire SOME ONE, or it was making a list in my EC planner so that I don't forget to set out the camera to take a first day of kindergarten picture with my new students next week. It's a million little things with a million lists running around floating here on my cell phone, my planners, my desk at school, my purse, etc. They are every where in hopes I don't forget that one little thing that may not matter to some, but matter huge to someone else. My life as teacher is constant. It WAS summer, but now it's over and I can seriously say this summer I did some serious reflection on my life as a teacher. And I am so thankful for that time to better myself as a professional.
This summer wasn't just about professional growth, for I know that transferring to a different school did help ignite some new passion for teaching, but it's also about personal growth. My sweet little Raegan Grace kept me busy. Last summer she was only 9 months old, she crawled most of the summer (learned to walk towards the end of the summer which I will be forever grateful I got to witness) and was easy to please. This summer, well this summer, my bouncing energetic toddler needed to be entertained. We went to the zoo, edventure, play dates, lunch dates, etc. Our mornings were extremely busy entertaining my loving toddler who had no intention of sitting and relaxing on the couch with momma she wanted to be running, she wanted me to chase her, read books to her, color with her, just sit on her little couch with her. She wanted apple juice one minute and milk the next AND she wanted to help me pour it and we all know a 22 month old pouring something leads to spilling something. In the afternoon she napped, and well sometimes I did too, but the last month or so I didn't because well that's prime time for this teacher to get stuff done because my head was filled with new ideas and a new classroom theme. But I am growing as a mommy. I am learning with Raegan as she learns. I attempted potty training this summer, and that was a BIG whomping fail. But you know, I tried. And really those 3 days of attempting to train her were the ONLY THREE days in a row we were home ALL Summer. So please don't tell me teachers relax all summer, because my only 3 days "OFF" were spent attempting to potty train a toddler, and well if anyone needs to see those pictures please check my Facebook page for July 2-4 to find out how that really went. Failure is not something I like to do, but it happens. And you know I don't let it get me down. I keep trying, because that is what momma's do. We keep going, because we have to, because we must show our little ones that we must keep going. And success well it will come.
Raegan is one beautiful little girl. And she keeps me busy and on my toes for sure. When she smiles her whole face lights up with those big brown eyes that surely bring a smile to your face if you ever saw it. She is passionate about everything, curious about the world we live in, and sooo sooo sooo very much fun to watch and enjoy as she learns and explores every single little thing like attempting to escape her crib. And those seldom random hugs she gives well those are worth every bit of energy it took for me to clean up the water she dumped out of the tub with her hair washing cup. This child, my child, my oh sweet child fills my heart with more love than I could EVER imagine. This sweet child of mine that keeps me on my toes, well she gives me a good taste of just how much my God loves me and well that my friends, makes my whole life worth living. I know what love is because I have Raegan Grace.
This summer has been busy. Right now Drew is still operating his GF store and helping out with the new store as it is being built as well. So he has also been very busy this summer too. It's been crazy transitions going on in The Smallwood house this summer for sure. I was beginning to think he was too busy to get my stuff in my new classroom, but he did it, and whew, I am so thankful my stuff is there and unpacked! One less thing I have to worry about!
But anyway, tonight, I have been a complete emotional wreck. And although Raegan has already gone to her new sitter, Sara, 4 times now, it's still soooo very heartbreaking to know that she will continue to go to Sara (and not momma) for the next 7 weeks. and then will be heartbreaking again when she transitions to preschool (and not momma) when she turns two at the end of September. SO heartbreaking. HeartBreaking because I know she will love Sara and get use to her and I will be removing her from that environment and I am already praying that transition won't be too hard on us. And that's one heartbreak. And then there's the heartbreak of leaving her all together. Although she has spent a few days here and there this summer with different people for my training's etc, it's just different when you HAVE To drop your child off with someone because you HAVE to go work. Tonight is hard for me. Hopefully tomorrow morning won't be so bad on me. But it's hard knowing as her mother I have to send her to SOMEONE else to take care of her while I GO to work and take care of and teach SOMEONE else's kids. The heartbreak of that reality sometimes to me is just too overwhelming. I literally sat here and cried buckets of tears holding Raegan wanting to keep her to myself and not share her with the world. It's tough. So tough being a working mom...and being a teacher working mom to me, well I can't vouch for all working moms, but teacher moms, we ROCK IT because we want is best for ALL kids but most importantly our own!
I am also emotional wreck about learning to balance it all. Going to a new school this year and back to a grade I haven't taught in a few years I will be learning every step of the way. I know I will have a lot to do as I hope to be a good addition to my team and help all my little students be successful in all that they do. I also want to make sure that I am being balance at home. I don't want to miss anytime with Raegan and I want to be the best momma I can be to her. And I already know my house will take the back burner, it's okay no guest allowed, y'all just invite me to your house and we will all be okay... deal? No judgements on this dishes or the laundry that I seem to struggle with being HOME all summer! ha! And my husband, well he is going to be so busy at the new store it will take us a little time to find balance in all that, but that's okay, because God will bring us through this. We can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us. I love my husband and so proud of his new adventures too. Together we will make it happen!
So as I lay down tonight (at some point if my mind stops racing) I probably won't sleep much because I don't sleep: This mom is constantly working on something rather for school or attempting to clean my house. But I am going to sleep kind of bittersweet I guess. So very sad to end my summer days with Raegan Grace, but also excited about changing the world one child at a time. I am so very excited about this new journey at a new school. I have only worked at WE and well change is sometimes nerve wrecking and scary. But I am anxious and excited about this new school year. But everyone at my new school has been so helpful, caring, and welcoming. And well that, that is all I need. Because where I work, they become family to me, we are all in this together. So if you see me tomorrow give me a hug, or I might just hug you, I promise I don't bite. Break that bearer because I am ready to expand my family! And if you ever need prayer, come to me! Together we will make a difference.
Let us pray...
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for this day that You have given us. We lift up all of those working mommas out there who find a hard time balancing it all. Give us strength Lord as we aim to be that beautiful Proverbs 31 mother and wife Lord. May we bring all the glory and honor to You. May others see You in each and every one of us.
God, we pray for teachers. We pray for inspiration and excitement as the new year starts Lord. God, help us to manage it all. Help us to get some sleep, to take some me time. Help us get every little thing done that we need to get done Lord. Help us be successful as we prepare our classrooms, help us be inspired and renewed as we sit though meetings. Help us be productive. Help us be good teammates. Help us be proactive. Help us to build relationships with students, parents, coworkers, and administration. Help us be supportive of one another and helpful. God, help us teach through You. Let others see You in each of us Lord. Help us we ban together in Your name to do Your work Lord. God, we pray for the new chapters You have laid out before us. For these great new beginnings and opportunities. God, help us be successful as we work for You lord. You know what we need Lord, and we thank You for giving that to us. May this school year be the BEST yet in our professional career!
God, we pray for mothers who will be leaving their babies tomorrow to return to the classroom. God, summer has come to an end. We have savored every moment with our sweet children. And we know now that we must share our precious little ones with the world. We pray that the world sees Your love and grace in our children. That our hard work in raising our children to do Your will will be evident. May they be kind, caring, and loving Lord with their teachers and friends. Protect our children in mind and body. Bless our heavy hearts as we trust someone else with our little babies. May they find as much joy in our babies as we do. Comfort us as we transition back into our teacher roles.
God, continue to use this next week to bless our students. May they enjoy their last week of summer vacation. May they come prepared and ready to learn. May they be full of excitement and eagerness to learn. We pray over their home environments that their parents will be supportive and play an active positive role in their education!
God, use us all to bring glory and honor to You. May each day we wake up, may we be renewed in Your word and may we go out and conquer all that You have set before us.
Thank You God for all that You do for us!
In Your name we pray,
AMEN!!!
and to my sweet blessing...
Dear Raegan Grace,
I haven't written you in quite a while. Mommy has been crying nonstop tonight at the thought of having to leave you in the care of someone else. I want you to know that although I work, you are my number one priority and that I do not love you any less. You are my oh so sweet blessing and I would do anything in the world for you! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF! I thank God every day for blessing me with Your love! I am so grateful to be able to have summers off to spend with you! You have been such a blessing to watch as you have grown and learned so many new things this summer. Your vocabulary is really taking off and I just love to hear you talk about everything! I know that God will take care of us both (and daddy) as our little family transitions into new rolls. Together we will trust in Him and His plans for our family!
I love you my sweet blessing! I love you all the way to the moon and back! Forever and always!
Love Momma!
Well later my readers... I need to go pack my teacher bag, and lay out my clothes (aw man, I never did go shopping for myself this summer, dang no new clothes YET, oh well). I still need to go clothes shopping for myself, and go to the eye doctor, and get my hair cut...dang if I come in to school tomorrow looking shabby I'll blame my eye sight? ha! Need to ADD ME to my to do list! Well it's on there but at the bottom, I better fix that soon! Anyway night friends!
